quiet (atlanta 1993) disarm (english tv 1993) cherub rock (acoustic, mtv europe 1993)

today (chicago 1993) i am one (barcelona 1993) soma (london 1994)

slunk (japanese tv 1992) geek u.s.a. (german tv 1993) mayonaise

(acoustic, live everywhere 1988-1994) silvercrank (london 1994)

note: lyrics different from originals marked in red.

sinfony
billy corgan
© 1994 cinderful music/chrysalis songs (bmi)

(instrumental)

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Billy's voice: We used to be a new wave band. But somehow along the way we turned into...a rock band. And I'm not quite sure how it happened except for the fact that maybe we were away from everything that was going on, and the world allowed us the time to find out what we really wanted to do.  I always wanted to be in a rock band, but I guess maybe at the time that we started the band, I was kind of afraid to play rock music because it wasn't very much in vogue.

---

quiet atlanta 1993
billy corgan
© 1992 cinderful music/chrysalis songs (bmi)

James: We just flew in from Chicago, and boy are our arms tired.

quiet
i am sleeping
in here
we need a little hope

for years
i've been sleeping
helpless
couldn't tell a soul

be ashamed
of the mess you've made
my eyes never forget, you see
behind me

silent
metal mercies
castrate
boys to the bone

jesus
are you listening?
up there
to anyone at all

we are the fossils
the relics of our time
we mutilate the meanings
so they're easy to deny

be ashamed
of the mess you've made
my eyes never forget, you see
behind me

quiet
i am sleeping
quiet
i am sleeping
shut up
i don't trust you
i can't hear you

be ashamed
of the mess you've made
my eyes never forget, you see
behind me

behind me
the grace of falling snow
cover up everything you know
come save me from the awful sound
of nothing

---

[Video: Asian guy standing against a wall, smiling] Interviewer: How did you find out about the Smashing Pumpkins? [pause] Who told you about them? Where did you first hear them? [the guy laughs, cut to next interviewees]  Guy:Cause they're really good and they're--nobody actually likes them, so they're just kind of out there. Interviewer:K, first of all, can I ask for your consent if I can use this for public broadcasting at any time? Man:Definitely. Man 2: (In slow motion) The guitar...it's um, it's like, they send me into another world, man, it's like...it's a relaxed powerful kind of escape, man. I mean, it's cool. Man 3: Satan? Man 4: Satan generally rules most of my daily activities. I sleep til 5, I don't see the sun. And I have sex with as many people as possible. Interviewer: That's cool... Man 3: You know, being one of his minions and all, I feel kind of biased for this question. [cut to a crowd] Man in the crowd: I threw up on a tilt-a-whirl once... Interviewer: What? Man: I threw up on a tilt-a-whirl once. Interviewer: So it wasn't that bad for you, just the people underneath you, right? Man: No, it was all over me and all over everybody next to me, too. [cut to 3 girls, sitting on a sidewalk] Interviewer: If you could be any body part from any member of the bad, which body part would you be and why? Girl 1: Their hands. Interviewer: Whose? Which--which-- Girl 2: Their toes. [cut to a concert, billy puts a boy up to the mic and starts playing a jaunty tune] Boy: We're from...Chicago...the windy city... [laughing] We'd like to thank the Smashing Pumpkins...[yells] for coming back for three f***ing nights! Woooooooo! [the band rawks out] Billy: [taking the mic] Thank you, that was beautiful. If we ever add another member, we'll call you. Man 6: Fan's short for fanatic, man...remember that. [fade out]

---

disarm (electric)  english tv 1993
billy corgan
© 1992 cinderful music/chrysalis songs (bmi)

disarm you with a smile
and cut you like you want me to
cut that little child
inside of me and such a part of you
ooh, the years burn

i used to be a little boy
so old in my shoes
and what i choose is my choice
what's a boy supposed to do?
the killer in me is the killer in you
my love
i send this smile over to you

disarm you with a smile
and leave you like they left me here
to wither in denial
the bitterness of one who's left alone
ooh, the years burn
ooh, the years burn, burn, burn

i used to be a little boy
so old in my shoes
and what i choose is my voice
what's a boy supposed to do?
the killer in me is the killer in you
my love
i send this smile over to you

the killer in me is the killer in you
send this smile over to you
the killer in me is the killer in you
send this smile over to you
the killer in me is the killer in you
send this smile over to you

---

Therapist: I hear you've been having some problems with your band, and I wonder, would you like to tell me about them? James: I'm not sure if it's one individual or...the band collectively, but maybe, um, it's their footwear that really bothers me. I'm not sure if it's just...any one shoe, but maybe just the thought of it. The thought of what's on their feet at any given moment distracts me. Therapist: Tell me if there's any way that you can see of having an effect on the situation so that...you feel able to get close to them. James: Well, I have given thought to this and I suppose in a practical, practical sense I could maybe ask for different shoes or socks on our rider. And a rider is something we have at every show and um you know they'll give us a deli tray, you know...candy...we can put any sort of footwear we want on it. And maybe if they had those different elements exposed to them they would lighten up a little. Therapist: You've really lost me there. Therapist: I hear you've been having some problems with your band, and I wonder, would you like to tell me about them? D'arcy: I'm sorry if I...I don't mean to be insulting at all, I just don't think that any amount of therapy is ever going to help this band. Jimmy is...is incredibly paranoid all of the time, and James, it's a different thing with him every week, it's, you know, one week he thought that his dog was possessed, and Billy just flew off the handle, and just couldn't take it anymore, so he said, you know, 'Well fine, let's get a witch doctor then.' So we went to a witch doctor. And next month it was the tarot card reader, you know... Therapist: I hear you've been having some problems with your band, and I wonder, would you like to tell me about them? Jimmy: [long pause] Um... [cut to later in session] Therapist: And put them here, that's D'arcy, and the other two men. And I'd like you to get across to these people how you feel when you get mocked, knowing that there are no consequences, except you feeling better about yourself, because they're not in the room. Jimmy: [picking up one of the ducks from the chair] Um, Billy, um, sometimes when you tell me that my clothes are funny and my hair's too long it makes me feel really bad. Therapist: You're getting into blaming and criticizing him for how he his...and...maybe he is that way. Jimmy: [laughing] He's a duck! Therapist: His is a duck, but the person you're using him as a symbol for is not a duck, right? You can just pretend he's in the chair and take that away if you like... Jimmy: No, no, I like the duck. Therapist: OK. [cut to picture of a cat in the chair] Jimmy: [grabbing the picture] D'arcy...I really think you're a cool person and it would really make me happy if you would just try to appreciate me for who I am cause I really go out of my way to try to be nice to you. [cut] James, um, it made me feel really bad that you cut all your hair off right as mine was getting long and I felt that it was kind of like another ploy of yours to make me feel distance from the band, and I [cut] I deserve to be respected by you and everybody else. Therapist: I hear you've been having some problems with your band, and I wonder, would you like to tell me about them? Billy: Just let me make this analogy. You want to go to the circus and to get into the circus it costs you five...pence. So you stand in line, you don't have five pence but you really want to go to the circus. Someone comes along and says well, ell I'll take you into the circus and I'll pay the five pence. But you got to pay me back later. So they take you in the circus and take you out. Well, oh, when are you going to pay me back? I don't know, I'll get around to it sooner or later. That's the story of the band.

---

cherub rock (acoustic) mtv europe 1993
billy corgan
© 1992 cinderful music/chrysalis songs (bmi)

freak out
give in
doesn't matter what you believe in
stay cool
and be somebody's fool this year
'cause they know
who is righteous, what is bold
so i'm told

who wants honey
as long as there's some money
who wants that honey?

hipsters unite
come align for the big fight to rock for you
but beware
all those angels with there wings glued on
'cause deep down
we are frightened and we're scared
if you don't stare

who wants honey
as long as there's some money
who wants that honey?

let me out
let me out
let me out
let me out
woo! uh-huh

tell me all of your secrets
cannot help but believe this is true
tell me all of your secrets
i know, i know, i know,
should have listened when i was told

who wants honey
as long as there is some money
who wants that honey?

let me out
let me out
let me out
let me out

---

today chicago 1993
billy corgan
© 1992 cinderful music/chrysalis songs (bmi)

today is the greatest
day i've ever known
can't live for tomorrow,
tomorrow's much too long
i'll burn my eyes out
before i get out

i wanted more
than life could ever grant me
bored by the chore
of saving face

today is the greatest
day i've ever known
can't wait for tomorrow
i might not have that long
i'll tear my heart out
before i get out

pink ribbon scars
that never forget
i tried so hard
to cleanse these regrets
my angel wings
were bruised and restrained
my belly stings

today is
today is
today is
the greatest day

i want to turn you on
i want to turn you on
i want to turn you on
i want to turn you

today is the greatest
today is the greatest day
today is the greatest day
that i have ever really known

---

Billy's voice: The first band I had was called The Marked. We played in Florida around 1986. The band wasn't very good, but it was kind of the same idea behind the Pumpkins, which was loud music and quiet music and trying to put it all together and my singing wasn't very good and blah, blah, blah...I kind of came back with my tail between my legs to Chicago and moved back in with my dad and that's where I kinda hatched the idea for the Pumpkins. So there I was living with my dad, playing in my room, and I, I met this guy, um, named Len who was a friend of James and that's how I met James and we just kinda started writing these scary little dreamy Goth pop songs together and then we started talking about OK we're gonna start this band and James was in this other band called The Feds which turned out to be another band, I can't remember what their name was now, but, and then I met D'arcy on the street one day, and we started playing as a three-piece with a drum machine, and then somebody saw us playing and said oh, I know this drummer and that's how I met Jimmy, and then...we've been together ever since. Interviewer: [to crowd] If you could be any member of the band, who would you be, and why? Guy: I wouldn't mind being James. Interviewer: Why? Guy: Cause he takes cool pictures...for those singles, for those UK singles...I think he must live this cool artsy life, you know? a boy and his bugg [Cut to shot of James in bed, sleeping] James: Time to walk Bugg. James: [comes downstairs all suited up including sunglasses] Bugg! Time to go...outside! [Bugg runs to the door. Bugg is frantic as James opens the door] [Bugg Superstar (see below) starts playing in background] James: What else can I say about my dog Bugg? I guess he's a little crazy. But then again I guess we all are. We've done a lot of growing in the past five years. Bugg is a friend, a companion, and a dog. I too have grown mentally and spiritually over these last few years, becoming a strong, responsible adult. In the wake of the success of the band, Bugg and I are often torn apart by fame. He understands this and still cares. He is a strangely perceptive dog. This bike I ride with Bugg alongside has brought a metaphor for the future. We don't know where we're going, when we'll get there, but we're happy doing it together. This is the story of Bugg and I.

bugg superstar
james iha
© 1994 cellophane star music/chrysalis songs (bmi)

bugg, bugg superstar
bugg, bugg
(etc.)

---

i am one barcelona 1993
billy corgan/james iha

i am one as you are three
try to find a messiah in your trinity
your city to burn
your city to burn
try to look for something
in your city to burn, you'll burn
am i as i seem?
i'm down
down, so down

time is right for a guiding light
try to turn to reasons in your bitter life
your city will burn
your city will burn
try to look for something
in your city to burn, you'll burn

see you, don't you just want to
see you, i am one
see you, don't you just want to
see you, oh

see you, don't you just want to
see you, i am one
see you, don't you just want to
see you, i am one

what you want is what you'll get
and that's nothin'
what you want is what you'll get
and that's nothin'
what you want is what you'll get
and what you see is what you want
and what you cannot have is what you desire

and all i ever wanted was everything
and all i ever wanted was everything
all i ever wanted was everything and all i got was s***

nothing can be taken from me that has not already been taken
and there's no stories that can be written that have not already been written (oh)
and there's no amount of bulls*** [that] can't be stacked high
and there's no amount of daggers that are small enough to pierce your heart

gimme nothin'

straight thru the motherf***in' heart
what you want is what you'll get
and that's nothin'
what you want is what you'll get
and that's nothin', nothin', nothin', nothin', nothin', nothin'
nada

gimme nothin'

straight thru your f***in' heart, nothin'
straight thru your motherf***in' heart nothin'
[Billy spits]

? kick it down
gimme some quiet
shhhhhhhh...
gimme nothin'
nothin'

see you, don't you just want to
see you, i am one
see you, don't you just want to
(oh)

---

pulseczar
billy corgan
© 1994 cinderful music/chrysalis songs (bmi)

yeah
i see you comin' from the sky
i see you callin' from the sky
your sky can't heal you again
your sky won't heal you again
why must i try oh why must i try
'cause i'm waiting for you
like never waited for me
why oh why, oh why why oh why
i try why oh why
must i try
i know what you mean

---

soma london 1994
billy corgan/james iha
© 1992 cinderful music/chrysalis songs (bmi)

nothing left to say
and all i've left to do
is run away
from you
and she led me on, down
with secrets i can't keep

close your eyes and sleep
don't wait up for me
hush now don't you speak
to me

wrapped my hurt in you
and took my shelter in that pain
the opiate of blame
is your broken heart, your heart

so now i'm all by myself
as i've always felt
i'll betray my tears
to anyone caught in our ruse of fools

one last kiss for me...yeah
one last kiss good night

didn't want to lose you once again
didn't want to be your friend
fulfilled a promise made of tin
and crawled back to you

i'm all by myself
as i've always felt
i'll betray myself
to anyone, lost, anyone but you

so let the sadness come again
on that you can depend on me, yeah
until the bitter, bitter end of the world, yeah
when god sleeps in bliss

and i'm all by myself
as i've always felt
and i'll betray myself
to anyone

---

slunk japanese tv 1992
billy corgan

ride on, motherf***er
sister above
lead on my lover
daddy's not comin' home

so long my mother
so long ago
she loves me like a lover
every house is now your home

even though you lied to me
we love you

right on, motherf***er
sister above
yeah, my lover
every house is now your home

---

geek u.s.a.  german tv 1993
billy corgan
© 1993 cinderful music/chrysalis songs (bmi)

lover lover let's pretend
we're born as innocents
cast into the world
with apple eyes

to wish wish dangerous
my dear delirious
to try and leave
the rest of us behind

shot full of diamonds
and a million years
the disappointed disappear
like they were never here

kiss kiss all of this
the hiss that we had missed
and understand what can't be understood

sear those thoughts of me
alone and unhappy
i never liked me anyway

if by chance
or circumstance
we should fail
don't be so sad

shot full of diamonds
and a million years
the disappointed disappear
like they were never here

in a dream
we are connected
siamese twins
at the wrist

and then i knew we'd been forsaken
expelled from paradise
i can't believe them
when they say that it's alright

words can't define what i feel inside
who needs them?
caught with this virus of my mind
i give in to my disease, of my needs
to my disease, of my needs

she really loves to break
her dad says its ok
she really loves to break
and give it all away

her ma says she's afraid
what more can she fake
she really needs to break
and give herself away

she gave it all away
she gave it all away
she gave it all away
we really love the usa

---

the frogs
text coming soon.

---

mayonaise (acoustic) london 1993
billy corgan/james iha
© 1992 cinderful music/chrysalis songs (bmi)
footage shot everywhere, 1988-1994

fool enough to almost be it
cool enough to not quite see it
doomed
pick your pockets full of sorrow
and run away with me tomorrow
june

we'll try and ease the pain
but somehow we'll feel the same
well, no one knows
where our secrets go

i send a heart to all my dearies
when your life is so, so dreary
dream
i'm rumored to the straight and narrow
while the harlots of my perils
scream

and i fail
but when i can, i will
try to understand
that when i can, i will

mother weep the years i'm missing
all our time can't be given
back
shut my mouth and strike the demons
that cursed you and your reasons
out of hand and out of season
out of love and out of feeling
so bad

when i can, i will
words defy the plans
when i can, i will

fool enough to almost be it
and cool enough to not quite see it
and old enough to always feel this
always old, i'll always feel this

no more promise no more sorrow
no longer will i follow
can anybody hear me
i just want to be me
when i can, i will
try to understand
that when i can, i will

---

Billy's voice: People are always asking us, like, what's it like to be famous. And when I think of famous I think about people like who kill people and I think about people who like need to run for political office. Being in a rock band is just an excuse not to have a job. We're just trying to postpone mortality just a couple, five minutes, you know? A lot of people think that like the early days of a band are like the glory days and that when you become like this bigger band that it's not as fun, but I think that we're probably having more fun now than ever. We don't have the pressure of trying to hold down jobs and play music and all these kinds of things, we can just play music all the time. It's easy to point to things that people can touch. Record sales are things you can touch, videos are things that people can touch. Time and memory washes all that away. So ultimately it has to do with your conscious and your integrity and what you feel. And all I would hope for is that we're doing it because we want to do it, and not because we're supposed to. Touring on Siamese Dream has probably been some of the best experiences of our life, not because the success of the record or the size of the shows, but just because I think we finally feel that we are doing and being what we always hoped we would be which is our own band, and be recognized as that.

---

silvercrank  london 1994
billy corgan
© 1993 cinderful music/chrysalis songs (bmi)

i hear your winter
i hear you rain
and i've failed your summer ways
and i feel no pain

i hear what you want
and i feel that way
i hear what you want
and i feel that way

i hear you fade away
and i hear you crawl
i gave my life away
and i feel no pain
and i feel no pain
and i feel no pain
and i feel your pain

and she is my lover so sweet
and she is my angel
and what i've recovered of me
i put into a box underneath my bed

when you lie in your bed
and you lie to yourself
when you lie in your bed
and you lie to yourself
when you lie
lie, lie, lie

bang bang you're dead hole in your head
bang bang you're dead hole in your head
bang bang you're dead hole in your head
bang bang you're dead hole in your head
[long silent pause, some applause]

i hear what you want
and i feel that way
i hear what you want
and i feel that way

---

why am i so tired?
billy corgan
© 1994 cinderful music/chrysalis songs (bmi)

(Instrumental)

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